Drive a Saab; Ski for Free

Yesterday, I did something my chosen career will probably never allow me to do with regularity: I drove a brand new Saab. Actually, I test drove a Saab 9-3 Aero XWD to be exact. And it was nice. But way, way out of my price range. In fact, right now I don't even have a price range; but if I did, it would not have room for a new Saab in it.

So why, then, did I waste the nice Saab man's time? Because they were giving away

two lift tickets to Ragged Mountain to anyone who doesn't have anything better to do than to come down and waste their time. That's why.

I love free lift tickets - for those of you counting at home - I'm up to 8 free tickets and it hasn't even snowed yet. But I know what you're thinking; Saab and Ragged? A Saab driver doesn't go to Ragged Mountain. A Saab driver goes to Killington.

No, Ragged Mountain is not a big mountain. But as of yesterday afternoon, it is a free mountain. And I wasn't asking any questions. Those babies are worth $50 each; $100 total. Fifteen minutes of my time for $100. So as of yesterday, I make $400 an hour. I should have driven the car and the Saab man up Route 1, onto 95 and up to the Saab dealership in Wakefield. Then, I could have told the nice Norwood Saab Man "thanks, but no thanks" and "test drove" one of Wakefield Saab Man's cars further north to Concord. From Concord I could have grabbed a fresh car and a new naïve salesman and hopped dealerships all the way to Ragged Mountain.

But hind sight is 20/20 and I'm happy to have gotten the nice raise. Plus, I was starting to get nervous that my sweatpants and obviously free Animal Planet shirt had made him suspicious.

As for the car, the leather seats were nice and the manual shift was fun. I heard somewhere that Saabs are basically made out of airplanes, but the Saab Man wouldn't allow me to let her fly down Route 1. He even asked me a second time if I was sure that I had a driver's license. I quickly steered the conversation back to cup holder abundance and complimented the electronic limited-slip differential, or eLSD, which I remembered from the few seconds I had been paying attention since leaving the lot. I also enjoyed being in control of 280 horses and the safety ratings were nice, but you know what? I make $400 an hour now. I'm buying a Z4. And I'm flying it to Ragged Mountain to ski for free.

-Christopher Eardley, New England