Murphy's Law of Winter Gear

Instead of a healthy retirement portfolio, my husband and I have gear. In the back of our minds, the plan must be we'll die of exhaustion before we can succumb to retirement.

We have gear for all seasons, several sports, and varying conditions. But it's the winter sports that really eat up space and finances. Our ski quiver would be truly impressive if it weren't for the fact it really does represents a huge chunk of what should be in retirement accounts. But once past intermediate skiing, you learn quickly that different skis work better in different conditions and are oh-so-much more fun. And isn't fun now much more important the saving money for when we're too old to have Epic Fun?

Since we play in three disciplines, cross country, telemark, and alpine, and in widely varying conditions (hard pack, ice, slush, rain, sub-zero and this year Ullr, the Norse God of Skiing, has even wrought upon us heaps and heaps of powder) we "need" and use it all and then some. (Yes, there's still a list of Wants.)

In deference to our dwindling retirement accounts, this is the year we decided to put our second home, which is in a ski area, into a vacation rental program. Our cabin has served as our winter gear annex. But we needed to reduce the number of personal effects, so we had to make decisions about what to schlep back to house #1 home and what we could leave. It made sense to to bring home the alpine gear which we can use at nearby resorts and leave the real mountain gear back in the mountains. Makes sense, right? Sense to everyone but Murphy.

Murphy's Winter Law has been decreed: You will never have the gear you need, when you need it, or where you need it. We are now looking down the barrel of our second two-foot snowstorm of the season...at our flat land house. And not a snow toy to be had. Deep snow boots? Other house. Gaiters? Other house. Cross country skis? Other house. Snowshoes? Other house. The upside to renting our vacation home is that we ski other places now, but the logistics of that, courtesy of Murphy, seem insurmountable. Since Murphy passed this new law, it never fails that some key equipment is missing. No matter how many times we check the snow reports and forecasts and plan for contingencies, pack and repack, we just can't seem to get it right. My favorite gloves will be stuffed in the pocket of a coat I didn't bring. We'll bring the groomer skis and find beautiful bumps begging for the short skis. My personal favorite is the ice melting off the lift soaking through every layer...on the first two runs of the day.

I was spoiled by not having to suffer the discomforts of day-trippers. Yet one thing this Murphy character can never spoil for me is that any day playing in the snow, no matter the conditions, is far better than anything that can be had under a roof. So bring it, Murphy. You can't wipe the smile off my face, especially when it's frozen by snot.